I don’t think I could love this post more, Kari. I spent my whole childhood and young adult years repressing my rage because 1, it wasn’t tolerated at my mom’s or my dad’s, and 2, I was taught good girls don’t get angry which is the working title for next week’s essay. I’ll probably change it but whatever. Probably the best thing I’ve done for myself is use my rage as fuel. It is so freeing and honest and leaves so much space in my head and everywhere else for peace and ease, though they are in short supply this particular week. I just bought Rebecca Traister’s book Good and Mad, The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger. I’ve only just started it, but it is fantastic. We will get through this but my god what a blow to the gut. And I applaud your cancellation of Thanksgiving dinner! Or your adjustment to the guest list. If people are not going to value your life, they sure don’t deserve your hospitality. Hugs, love and solidarity.
its at my SIL's so i prep the day before and drive stuff 2 hours to NJ where I finish it. I took this on when my MIL started aging and after she died I just kept doing it. I give myself grace, it was a very hard time, but no more.
I've been friends with a group of guys for 25 years, and while that's always been kind of a battle because of how they see women (even though they've evolved a lot), finding out one of them voted for Trump was just the line for me. I have had this rage all week, and I feel like I can't look any of my male friends in the eye. I sincerely want that to pass because the vast majority of them are in their right mind and would never support Trump or MAGA. But at the moment, I'm feeling under siege. It sucks. I really hate it. I don't know how I'm supposed to look at them again.
I feel this so much. I don't trust a one of them right now. I walked down the streets of my beloved neighborhood that I have lived in for twenty years, and every man that passed by, I thought, "would he kill or rape me if he was given the chance?". I have lived in NYC for 25 years now, and even though I have always been aware of men and the dangers, I never felt under siege as you so aptly put it.
There are guys in MAGA hats going to the gay clubs. There are guys in MAGA hats all over the city, causing trouble. The bartender at our local said that a guy in full MAGA regalia sat at the bar down the street on Election Night, taunting and antagonizing everyone. If I think about the fear I start to lose it. So I am staying angry. The anger is easier than the fear.
The worst part is that even they are probably calling me hysterical behind my back, or overdramatic, and not even thinking about how MAGA men are empowered now, including by traitorous women. And you know what? I have heard them call me things like that before, so one less bitch for them to deal with. If that's how it has to be.
My sister and mom said they were mostly sad but I have been enraged- there’s deep disappointment there too but I haven’t known what to do with the feeling either. Thank you for this piece. And fuck yes don’t make Thanksgiving for any Trumpers!
I love you. Your rage is incandescent. Good! Last night was the first night I slept for more than 3 hours in days. You have confirmed my own decision. We MUST act locally! Railing against Trump or far-off politicians is fine… but doesn’t change anything. However, 4B changes things. It is a first step in holding family & “friends” & neighbors accountable.
Kari, this was amazing and it was just what I needed to read this morning to help remind me that I can't let these bastards take me down! Thank you! 👍🏼🖤❤️🔥🇺🇲🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I needed to remind myself ❤️ and that there are other ways to protest (as I feel insane guilt for not going today but it’s RAINING SIDEWAYS and my train line is FUBAR)
I really loved this. You put my Wednesday in to words so well. I am also trying to use the rage to fuel my voice. So many years of repressing rage in the name of not disturbing some precious peace fallacy - and for what? No more. ❤️
I'm so glad you've been able to connect with your rage in a way that feels empowering instead of overwhelming. This is the work being asked of us right now!
Starting a zoom group - one thing I have always done is mentor other writers. But this one is for free and I want the leadership to be shared so I can be a member of the circle, too. Wanna join?
I am also a fiction writer full of rage, ready to channel it into art. Please let me know about this Zoom group, I need to surround myself with other women who feel like this.
"I am done crying.
And to those who already think I’m a bitch, you ain’t seen nothing yet."
My dear, I love that!!! I believe you will find peace in that rage. There is something very empowering in controlled rage. Never give up. Write on....
I don’t think I could love this post more, Kari. I spent my whole childhood and young adult years repressing my rage because 1, it wasn’t tolerated at my mom’s or my dad’s, and 2, I was taught good girls don’t get angry which is the working title for next week’s essay. I’ll probably change it but whatever. Probably the best thing I’ve done for myself is use my rage as fuel. It is so freeing and honest and leaves so much space in my head and everywhere else for peace and ease, though they are in short supply this particular week. I just bought Rebecca Traister’s book Good and Mad, The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger. I’ve only just started it, but it is fantastic. We will get through this but my god what a blow to the gut. And I applaud your cancellation of Thanksgiving dinner! Or your adjustment to the guest list. If people are not going to value your life, they sure don’t deserve your hospitality. Hugs, love and solidarity.
its at my SIL's so i prep the day before and drive stuff 2 hours to NJ where I finish it. I took this on when my MIL started aging and after she died I just kept doing it. I give myself grace, it was a very hard time, but no more.
Yeah, I totally get it. It’s so hard with family. We could talk for a long time lol/sob. I’m glad you drew a line. And I’m sending you hugs.
I've been friends with a group of guys for 25 years, and while that's always been kind of a battle because of how they see women (even though they've evolved a lot), finding out one of them voted for Trump was just the line for me. I have had this rage all week, and I feel like I can't look any of my male friends in the eye. I sincerely want that to pass because the vast majority of them are in their right mind and would never support Trump or MAGA. But at the moment, I'm feeling under siege. It sucks. I really hate it. I don't know how I'm supposed to look at them again.
I feel this so much. I don't trust a one of them right now. I walked down the streets of my beloved neighborhood that I have lived in for twenty years, and every man that passed by, I thought, "would he kill or rape me if he was given the chance?". I have lived in NYC for 25 years now, and even though I have always been aware of men and the dangers, I never felt under siege as you so aptly put it.
There are guys in MAGA hats going to the gay clubs. There are guys in MAGA hats all over the city, causing trouble. The bartender at our local said that a guy in full MAGA regalia sat at the bar down the street on Election Night, taunting and antagonizing everyone. If I think about the fear I start to lose it. So I am staying angry. The anger is easier than the fear.
The worst part is that even they are probably calling me hysterical behind my back, or overdramatic, and not even thinking about how MAGA men are empowered now, including by traitorous women. And you know what? I have heard them call me things like that before, so one less bitch for them to deal with. If that's how it has to be.
Sadly, this is when we really find out who our friends are.
My sister and mom said they were mostly sad but I have been enraged- there’s deep disappointment there too but I haven’t known what to do with the feeling either. Thank you for this piece. And fuck yes don’t make Thanksgiving for any Trumpers!
Yes. I am not done crying bc my rage comes with tears. But I am done hiding the rage tears.
I love you. Your rage is incandescent. Good! Last night was the first night I slept for more than 3 hours in days. You have confirmed my own decision. We MUST act locally! Railing against Trump or far-off politicians is fine… but doesn’t change anything. However, 4B changes things. It is a first step in holding family & “friends” & neighbors accountable.
Kari, this was amazing and it was just what I needed to read this morning to help remind me that I can't let these bastards take me down! Thank you! 👍🏼🖤❤️🔥🇺🇲🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I needed to remind myself ❤️ and that there are other ways to protest (as I feel insane guilt for not going today but it’s RAINING SIDEWAYS and my train line is FUBAR)
I really loved this. You put my Wednesday in to words so well. I am also trying to use the rage to fuel my voice. So many years of repressing rage in the name of not disturbing some precious peace fallacy - and for what? No more. ❤️
amen!
I feel you. That’s all I can say. That, and I need to follow your lead and fight less, block more, but it’s so hard for me.
free yourself. Nothing you say will change their mind. I KNOW its hard. But it is what they crave and it is what feeds them.
You’re right, Kari.
easier said than done. <3 We all have re-adjusting to do.
I'm so glad you've been able to connect with your rage in a way that feels empowering instead of overwhelming. This is the work being asked of us right now!
Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m overwhelmed. 😂
so glad to have found you my fellow playwright and survivor!
HELL YES! Lady playwrights are a small but fierce coalition. <3
Starting a zoom group - one thing I have always done is mentor other writers. But this one is for free and I want the leadership to be shared so I can be a member of the circle, too. Wanna join?
I am still unsure of what my capacity will be but keep me informed.
I am also a fiction writer full of rage, ready to channel it into art. Please let me know about this Zoom group, I need to surround myself with other women who feel like this.
will do, Jamie!