My Country is Falling Apart and All I Got Was This ADHD Paralysis
put THAT on a T-shirt
I got home from Mexico feeling hopeful and rejuvenated.
That lasted about two days.
I did mostly stay off the internet when I was gone, so when I came home I had to play catch up on our national nightmare. I had downloaded two weeks worth of info to my noggin and came away feeling like this.
And now my brain is doing this.
I made the mistake of putting TikTok back on my phone and was regaled with a German politician LITERALLY CRYING about America. Yes, we always rely on GERMAN BUREAUCRATIC MEN for those open emotions. I know I watch some German political speeches when I really need to get in my feels. FML.
We are so screwed.
I knew that if we elected That Guy, we were capital S Screwed. Some may argue that the system was already unsustainable, and in many ways, it was, except for the parts about planes flying correctly and vaccines and stuff.
However, I will share with you the wisdom of Maggie, my former Weight Watchers leader1.
Whenever one of us had a “bad weekend” - aka eating some buffalo wings at the bar instead of the sad baggie of cut up cucumbers we brought with us - the temptation to just raid a Wawa and eat seven bags of Cool Ranch Doritos and chug a Slurpee was strong. I already screwed up. But sensible Maggie would say:
“If you fall halfway down the stairs, do you just throw yourself the rest of the way down?”
I have applied this saying to literally everything in my life, from weight loss to navigating American life in late capitalism. Unfortunately, America decided the best option was to chuck ourselves right down the stairs. There is no bottom underneath us, only darkness. I refuse to fall into it. I am a survivor, god dammit. I am hanging onto the bannister with my measly upper body strength.
I did not survive my adolescence, 9/11, and COVID to be killed by idiots.
That being said, I am on the struggle bus. And I wound up getting sick, because one’s immune system can only take so much of hearing information such as “A teenager named Big Balls has your Social Security number”.
Have you fuckin’ seen this kid?? It looks like Beavis’ younger brother went to a bar in Murray Hill.
Anyway. Please be patient with me once again as I navigate our new normal, a phrase I am very tired of saying. I am working on my big post about Whale Camp, but it’s taking a while. Writing is like doing the backstroke in crude oil at the moment. I will have a new playlist for our paid subscribers later on this week, because at least that isn’t writing.
How are you all doing? What are you doing to cope? Please kvetch in the comments.
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Say what you will about Weight Watchers, but when I was young and broke, it was basically free group therapy and I met some awesome people there. I also did learn how to pay attention to what I was eating, which in the long run I don’t think was all bad, as I used to act like I would literally starve if I did not eat every single fry on my plate.
"I used to act like I would literally starve if I did not eat every single fry on my plate"
Remember when our parents used starving kids and clean plate clubs to insist we needed to eat even when full?
"Writing is like doing the backstroke in crude oil at the moment." Oh, wow. I feel SEEN.