You slayed the Attack Closet! And much else besides, it sounds like, and you've managed to write about it with a lot of charm and actual kindness toward yourself, which a lot of people either don't or can't. Seriously, it's so rare to see. Refreshing, too.
This is a subject dear to my heart. One of the things I do in this life is help people get unstuck with their households (a process nearly always connected to Other Issues (TM) ) -- https://rntq.substack.com/p/reasons-not-to-quit-coaching if you're curious -- and starting in late December I'm going to be serializing a new book on the subject. Either of which may be of interest or not, since it sounds like you've definitely figured out a workable way forward for your household. If it is, though, let me know!
oooh thank you! I think I have somewhat of a handle on it, but definitely glad the link is there and I can refer folks your way, and would be interested in the book for sure. Since getting my diagnosis and getting treated, I'm definitely re-learning how to do life
Oh man, yeah. Late diagnosis is a real mindfuck. I was 41 and was like....oh okay so I've been on the entirely wrong meds my entire life and I'm not actually insane. Cool.
I don't have a diagnosis except what my grown kids tell me ;) but you really hit my memories on cleaning. Once upon a time, I was airbnb-ing the rooms of the two older kids who'd moved out, and I had to hire a cleaner because it was business related. And then I stopped renting the rooms and couldn't "justify" it anymore. That lasted longer than it should have. I feel the same guilt but I work full time, write before work, want to spend time with my friends, kids and grandkids, and there's no one to share the load with in my house. And I clean up for my cleaners. That day every other week is the best day, and the only thing I regret is that I can't afford to have them every week. Maybe soon though!
Your time is valuable! I have realized that I am penny wise and pound foolish sometimes, and anything that saves me time pays itself back in other ways. This is why I refuse to feel bad about taking cabs when I travel. Sure, the train is cheaper, but the extra time it takes costs more to me. I just cut back elsewhere.
Thank God for the Rosies of the world. It's so much better to outsource it if you can, especially if you hate it. No matter what I do I cannot fold sheets or towels so that they look presentable, so I try to do more dishes or something else that comes easier. We all have our strengths (too bad our closets do not appreciate a well timed metaphor)
I'm blessed as a nervous cleaner. All we need to do to get the downstairs clean is to talk family budget or boundaries. I'd crawl out of my own skin if I had to sit on the couch for that 😆
You are just like my bestie. Total nervous cleaner (also ADHD).
I will clean if I am avoiding something though. Never cleaned as much in my whole life as I did when I was in grad school. The amount of hyperfocus panic papers I wrote...
You slayed the Attack Closet! And much else besides, it sounds like, and you've managed to write about it with a lot of charm and actual kindness toward yourself, which a lot of people either don't or can't. Seriously, it's so rare to see. Refreshing, too.
This is a subject dear to my heart. One of the things I do in this life is help people get unstuck with their households (a process nearly always connected to Other Issues (TM) ) -- https://rntq.substack.com/p/reasons-not-to-quit-coaching if you're curious -- and starting in late December I'm going to be serializing a new book on the subject. Either of which may be of interest or not, since it sounds like you've definitely figured out a workable way forward for your household. If it is, though, let me know!
oooh thank you! I think I have somewhat of a handle on it, but definitely glad the link is there and I can refer folks your way, and would be interested in the book for sure. Since getting my diagnosis and getting treated, I'm definitely re-learning how to do life
A diagnosis can be such a revolution. My husband didn’t find out about his ADHD until he was in his 50s and wow.
Oh man, yeah. Late diagnosis is a real mindfuck. I was 41 and was like....oh okay so I've been on the entirely wrong meds my entire life and I'm not actually insane. Cool.
I don't have a diagnosis except what my grown kids tell me ;) but you really hit my memories on cleaning. Once upon a time, I was airbnb-ing the rooms of the two older kids who'd moved out, and I had to hire a cleaner because it was business related. And then I stopped renting the rooms and couldn't "justify" it anymore. That lasted longer than it should have. I feel the same guilt but I work full time, write before work, want to spend time with my friends, kids and grandkids, and there's no one to share the load with in my house. And I clean up for my cleaners. That day every other week is the best day, and the only thing I regret is that I can't afford to have them every week. Maybe soon though!
Your time is valuable! I have realized that I am penny wise and pound foolish sometimes, and anything that saves me time pays itself back in other ways. This is why I refuse to feel bad about taking cabs when I travel. Sure, the train is cheaper, but the extra time it takes costs more to me. I just cut back elsewhere.
Especially with the suitcases from the airport or the train station!
Thank God for the Rosies of the world. It's so much better to outsource it if you can, especially if you hate it. No matter what I do I cannot fold sheets or towels so that they look presentable, so I try to do more dishes or something else that comes easier. We all have our strengths (too bad our closets do not appreciate a well timed metaphor)
god yes. I CAN fold a sheet correctly, I just don't CARE enough to actually take the time to do it.
When Martha Stewart comes over and awards prizes, I’ll work on it. Until then, I’m with you on Team IDGAF.
I'm blessed as a nervous cleaner. All we need to do to get the downstairs clean is to talk family budget or boundaries. I'd crawl out of my own skin if I had to sit on the couch for that 😆
You are just like my bestie. Total nervous cleaner (also ADHD).
I will clean if I am avoiding something though. Never cleaned as much in my whole life as I did when I was in grad school. The amount of hyperfocus panic papers I wrote...