ALL MEN! A woman I was dating told me that the previous evening we’d been more intimate than she wanted to. I hadn’t gained positive consent and assumed she’d push back if I pressed too far. This is still sexual assault. And this is likely not the only time I did it. She was just secure enough to say something.
And I call myself a feminist. I’m a “nice guy.” I’m not a hypermasculine tool. I’m even bisexual, not straight. If it’s someone like me, then it’s all men. At least women must assume that.
Also, to the people who think he should be allowed to run regardless of the accusations, in a practical, political reality, it’s going to be hard enough to pull female voters away from a moderate female candidate on the other side. This would have tanked our shot at this seat. Not only does this make him unfit to serve, we are a lot more likely to win with a candidate who isn’t a rapist.
Cormac, truly, thank you for this comment. I understand that it is NOT easy to admit something like that, and I appreciate your honesty.
This particularly -- "If it's someone like me, then it's all men" - WHEW. That's a heavy statement. So heavy. And concise.
I guarantee you that you have given your own behavior more thought than the vast majority of men who will undoubtedly be blowing up my inbox today. And that you will be a better person and partner going forward.
These guys. When they get all bent out of shape, I want to ask them, “if he raped her, would you care?—yes or no” “But but but it isn’t PROVEN” “Granted, but do men rape women? Do they have sex without full consent? Have you?”
Seriously. It’s like ohhhh they don’t actually give a fuck about it. Realizing that helped me cope in a weird way. They completely abstract it and distance from it so they don’t have to change
Kari, I’ve been here since your first post, congrats on 3 years!! Thank you for all your posts and for including the cats when it’s a heavier topic, the sweet cats always brighten my day.
I ALREADY HAD TO HIT THE BAN HAMMER. I published less than an hour ago.
ALL MEN! A woman I was dating told me that the previous evening we’d been more intimate than she wanted to. I hadn’t gained positive consent and assumed she’d push back if I pressed too far. This is still sexual assault. And this is likely not the only time I did it. She was just secure enough to say something.
And I call myself a feminist. I’m a “nice guy.” I’m not a hypermasculine tool. I’m even bisexual, not straight. If it’s someone like me, then it’s all men. At least women must assume that.
Also, to the people who think he should be allowed to run regardless of the accusations, in a practical, political reality, it’s going to be hard enough to pull female voters away from a moderate female candidate on the other side. This would have tanked our shot at this seat. Not only does this make him unfit to serve, we are a lot more likely to win with a candidate who isn’t a rapist.
Cormac, truly, thank you for this comment. I understand that it is NOT easy to admit something like that, and I appreciate your honesty.
This particularly -- "If it's someone like me, then it's all men" - WHEW. That's a heavy statement. So heavy. And concise.
I guarantee you that you have given your own behavior more thought than the vast majority of men who will undoubtedly be blowing up my inbox today. And that you will be a better person and partner going forward.
These guys. When they get all bent out of shape, I want to ask them, “if he raped her, would you care?—yes or no” “But but but it isn’t PROVEN” “Granted, but do men rape women? Do they have sex without full consent? Have you?”
Seriously. It’s like ohhhh they don’t actually give a fuck about it. Realizing that helped me cope in a weird way. They completely abstract it and distance from it so they don’t have to change
Kari, I’ve been here since your first post, congrats on 3 years!! Thank you for all your posts and for including the cats when it’s a heavier topic, the sweet cats always brighten my day.
Ahhh you are the best!! Thank you so much! Also when you have a second, DM me your mailing address xo
Thank you. xo
Thank YOU for reading and commenting ❤️
It’s the least I can do if you are going to be in my brain, saying all the things I’m too tired to. Thanks again, Kari. 😘 xo
An infant is not a man.