😂 you’re amazing. And yeah..:there’s a comfort in taking solace in your own imagination. It’s a fine line between that and delulu. But hey in these times…I wish I were more delulu tbh.
I think you might just be my hero. My parents refused to have me tested (in 1989, when I failed my kindergarten test because I couldn’t write but I was hyperlexic!) - they decided to homeschool me instead. (That’s a whole ‘nother story.) But I recognize myself throughout this entire article. So clearly. I felt so happy reading your article. Thank you, thank you.
Aw Julie!!! I’m not a hero but you are very kind. I’m glad (??) you see yourself in what I wrote. I think there are a lot of us. And I’m sorry your parents decided isolating you was the way. It wasn’t. ❤️❤️
I was diagnosed with very high-masking autism this year at 42 years old. My mom also says I started reading when I was 3. I want to type a longer reply to everything you wrote, but I’m too exhausted from pretending (poorly) to be some kind of normal person all day.
Larson’s “School for the Gifted” and “Boneless Chicken Ranch” are the two that live rent-free in my head. My spouse and I refer to the first every time, without fail, that either of us pulls the push door or vice-versa; the second applies to our pets, when they melt-and-sprawl on the floor.
Shortly after I was born, my parents had the distinct impression that I was upset because I couldn’t walk. (I swear, I remember this. I wasn’t upset, I was PISSED!) And I was merely months old when I started yanking books out of my mother’s hands and pointing frantically at the words, making it clear that I didn’t want her to read to me; I wanted to do it myself.
I’m so sorry that your Kindergarten teacher was an ignoramus! I lucked out with that one. On the first day, when she invited us to find something to play with, I went right for a stack of large, colorful dominoes. She placed one on the floor, imagining I would color-match. Instead, I clapped down a bone and announced the score. 😂 Apparently, she could not wait to share her delight with my mother, and she spent the year making sure I was engaged, rather than bored.
I hadn't seen your posts in awhile, so I sought you out. I see an overlap here with what I've experienced. Verrrry early reader, way above my level, and (almost) always in the gifted program. Weird, because now I feel more...average? I don't know. But I'm so glad you found answers that helped. I wouldn't be surprised if many, many more of us are on the spectrum, too.
I doubt that! And for me, too. I’m not around a large group of peers regularly—are you? Because if we were, I think we’d still find ourselves in the gifted group…
The last few lines of your beautiful piece brought tears to my eyes. I recognized so much of myself in them.
I've spent my whole life being told I was weird, too. Strange. Different. My own mother even self-diagnosed me with borderline, and my sister called me a narcissist—despite having no medical background.
Next year I'll finally be assessed for ADHD/ADD, although deep down I think I already know. What hurts most is realizing it this late. It feels like grieving the life that could have been. I sometimes wonder what I might have been capable of if someone had recognized it earlier.
But more than that, I'm relieved. Relieved that there may finally be an explanation for why I've always felt "a little different." I'm hoping that understanding myself will help me stop feeling like I'm simply broken or crazy.
Thank you for sharing your story. It made me feel a little less alone.
I hate that a trait that makes you who you are and contributes to your creativity is given such a judgmental name, “maladaptive.” It’s no wonder we all mask. And I get the frustration that comes with living in the world as AuDHD, but maladaptive is based on you not fitting into a shitty box. I also grew up feeling weird and not knowing why, but I also felt proud not to fit in the box because I saw the ways it was shitty. Underneath it all I used to wish for the so-called bliss of ignorance, but never really. What I really wanted was freedom from the pressure to fit into something shitty.
The “like” made me re-read my comment and I thought maybe it’s better to say it was a box that didn’t suit me, rather than be all backlashy and name-cally by calling it it shitty but I’m still processing some feelings…
it's totally fine, I get it. I do think that there are terms that aren't helpful, but this one doesn't really bother me, I guess because I mostly grew out of it by the time I was in college. Or I learned to suppress it, idk.
My dad was hyperlexic! The AuDHD is strong in our family but my kids and I all read in Kindergarten. Also strong relate on the shoe tying, my oldest started tying his in third grade.
People often described my husband’s grandma as retreating into her vibrant dream life-I had never heard of maladaptive daydreaming!
On another note, I have loved all your watercolors this year, its my favorite type of painting.
yeah, how many of our beautiful vibrant dreaming grandmothers wound up in asylums? I wonder about this sometimes, like, women they thought were crazy and...no they just had a vivid dream life and also stellar pattern recognition.
AND THANK YOU! Something fun related to that should be in the mail for you super soon. xo
“Maladaptive Daydreaming” sounds like a place I where I spent every happy moment before the Parkies showed up. Very interesting stuff 💕
😂 you’re amazing. And yeah..:there’s a comfort in taking solace in your own imagination. It’s a fine line between that and delulu. But hey in these times…I wish I were more delulu tbh.
Delulu is the GOAL.
I think you might just be my hero. My parents refused to have me tested (in 1989, when I failed my kindergarten test because I couldn’t write but I was hyperlexic!) - they decided to homeschool me instead. (That’s a whole ‘nother story.) But I recognize myself throughout this entire article. So clearly. I felt so happy reading your article. Thank you, thank you.
Aw Julie!!! I’m not a hero but you are very kind. I’m glad (??) you see yourself in what I wrote. I think there are a lot of us. And I’m sorry your parents decided isolating you was the way. It wasn’t. ❤️❤️
Little to say. But yep, it me too.
I was diagnosed with very high-masking autism this year at 42 years old. My mom also says I started reading when I was 3. I want to type a longer reply to everything you wrote, but I’m too exhausted from pretending (poorly) to be some kind of normal person all day.
oh my god. I hear you. And I'd write a longer response to your comment if I hadn't been doing the same thing all day. 🩷
Thought-provoking, as per usual, Kari. 💜
Larson’s “School for the Gifted” and “Boneless Chicken Ranch” are the two that live rent-free in my head. My spouse and I refer to the first every time, without fail, that either of us pulls the push door or vice-versa; the second applies to our pets, when they melt-and-sprawl on the floor.
Shortly after I was born, my parents had the distinct impression that I was upset because I couldn’t walk. (I swear, I remember this. I wasn’t upset, I was PISSED!) And I was merely months old when I started yanking books out of my mother’s hands and pointing frantically at the words, making it clear that I didn’t want her to read to me; I wanted to do it myself.
I’m so sorry that your Kindergarten teacher was an ignoramus! I lucked out with that one. On the first day, when she invited us to find something to play with, I went right for a stack of large, colorful dominoes. She placed one on the floor, imagining I would color-match. Instead, I clapped down a bone and announced the score. 😂 Apparently, she could not wait to share her delight with my mother, and she spent the year making sure I was engaged, rather than bored.
Thank you, Cole! I remember Boneless Chicken Ranch! hahahhaa oh man, that brings me back.
I hadn't seen your posts in awhile, so I sought you out. I see an overlap here with what I've experienced. Verrrry early reader, way above my level, and (almost) always in the gifted program. Weird, because now I feel more...average? I don't know. But I'm so glad you found answers that helped. I wouldn't be surprised if many, many more of us are on the spectrum, too.
I am exponentially dumber than when I was a kid. 🤣
I doubt that! And for me, too. I’m not around a large group of peers regularly—are you? Because if we were, I think we’d still find ourselves in the gifted group…
The last few lines of your beautiful piece brought tears to my eyes. I recognized so much of myself in them.
I've spent my whole life being told I was weird, too. Strange. Different. My own mother even self-diagnosed me with borderline, and my sister called me a narcissist—despite having no medical background.
Next year I'll finally be assessed for ADHD/ADD, although deep down I think I already know. What hurts most is realizing it this late. It feels like grieving the life that could have been. I sometimes wonder what I might have been capable of if someone had recognized it earlier.
But more than that, I'm relieved. Relieved that there may finally be an explanation for why I've always felt "a little different." I'm hoping that understanding myself will help me stop feeling like I'm simply broken or crazy.
Thank you for sharing your story. It made me feel a little less alone.
Thank you for reading. I am glad it helped. It's all so frustrating. 🩷
I hate that a trait that makes you who you are and contributes to your creativity is given such a judgmental name, “maladaptive.” It’s no wonder we all mask. And I get the frustration that comes with living in the world as AuDHD, but maladaptive is based on you not fitting into a shitty box. I also grew up feeling weird and not knowing why, but I also felt proud not to fit in the box because I saw the ways it was shitty. Underneath it all I used to wish for the so-called bliss of ignorance, but never really. What I really wanted was freedom from the pressure to fit into something shitty.
The “like” made me re-read my comment and I thought maybe it’s better to say it was a box that didn’t suit me, rather than be all backlashy and name-cally by calling it it shitty but I’m still processing some feelings…
it's totally fine, I get it. I do think that there are terms that aren't helpful, but this one doesn't really bother me, I guess because I mostly grew out of it by the time I was in college. Or I learned to suppress it, idk.
My dad was hyperlexic! The AuDHD is strong in our family but my kids and I all read in Kindergarten. Also strong relate on the shoe tying, my oldest started tying his in third grade.
People often described my husband’s grandma as retreating into her vibrant dream life-I had never heard of maladaptive daydreaming!
On another note, I have loved all your watercolors this year, its my favorite type of painting.
yeah, how many of our beautiful vibrant dreaming grandmothers wound up in asylums? I wonder about this sometimes, like, women they thought were crazy and...no they just had a vivid dream life and also stellar pattern recognition.
AND THANK YOU! Something fun related to that should be in the mail for you super soon. xo