New Year, Same Struggle Bus

This year may not turn out to be "happy", but at least its new?!

Photo by Ricardo Loaiza on Unsplash

Happy New Year everyone! I hope that you had a nice holiday, or at least a peaceful one. I had a decent holiday season all things considered, but I am also very glad its over and we get to flip the calendar. 2023 was a doozy. Not all good, not all bad, but definitely full of change and transition.

If I’m being honest, I’m a little bit on the struggle bus right now. I’m taking half doses of my meds to ration my remaining stash (post about this never ending medication nightmare is forthcoming…), and as a result I am just not running on all cylinders. I have a couple of posts in draft and just have not been able to get the ol’ shit together, but hopefully I will get them done by next week.

So this post is just gonna be little bits and bobs….things I’m up to, enjoying, podcasts I’m listening to. Once I start publishing again, I’ll be back in the habit.

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Cleaning the Cobwebs

I like to start off a New Year by cleaning, both emotionally and physically.

I wasn’t in the best headspace this December, partially because I was too sick to keep up with exercise and yoga (I had a cold for weeks, and then got COVID, UGH), partially because I can’t take the full dose of my medication, and my diet was atrocious. The only things that tasted good to me were soup and ice cream. In an effort to feel better, I am cleaning up my diet, getting back into regular exercise, and putting my focus back on healing.

I finally went back to the office this week, and boy, if there was any further proof needed of my undiagnosed ADHD, it was the absolute disaster that was my workspace. I’m not sure what got into me yesterday, but I did a deep clean and re-organization. I had things in my desk that have been here at least as long as I have, if not longer. I’ve been with my company for almost 12 years, so you can imagine the amount of absolutely senseless bullshit I stuffed into drawers and never thought about again. It was an annoying task, but I re-organized my space and its making my day better.

I also got a new computer, since my trusty 7 year old iMac finally started to die a sad old lady death. Every time I booted it up, it took 20 minutes. I decided to replace it with a MacBook Pro, but I held out for the M3, and I’m glad I did. I am just waiting for my monitor to arrive and I will be fully set up. The MacBook Pro is LIGHTNING FAST and the screen is heaven. I still have to organize everything and go through years of files I haven’t had the patience to sort through, but it will be a fun hyperfocus project for the weekend.

I am also planning on doing some audio recordings of my posts, for folks who prefer to listen rather than read. Stay tuned…

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Stuff I’m Into at the Moment

I do read! And listen to podcasts! And I have enough attention span to read books and watch movies again! Some of this is very fluffy, but I’m sort of into that at present. I was gifted a bunch of novels over the holidays, and I’m excited to dig into those.

You Are a Lot (podcast)

Jen Kirkman started this podcast about her experience as a woman recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I’m really loving it. I just listened to the episode called “Cancelling Plans” and found myself nodding the entire time. She gives some terrific advice and insight, and its all with humor and humanity.

My Therapist Ghosted Me (podcast)

Irish entertainers Joanne McNally and Vogue Williams started this podcast in 2021, and it is a hilarious delight. I love their friendship, and their banter reminds me a lot of me and my bestie (I’m definitely the Vogue in the relationship).

XOXO Cody (book)

There are a LOT of celebrity memoirs at the moment, and not everyone is into fitness, but Cody is my favorite Peloton instructor and I absolutely loved his book. He is hilarious, but had a lot of adversity growing up. I had similar experiences, and found it relatable and compassionate. What struck me about it is how much he is able to write how he speaks. It’s not easy to do.

My Name is Barbra (audiobook)

I don’t really love audiobooks, but I had a free Audible credit to use so I downloaded this. There is something weirdly comforting in listening to Barbra Streisand talk about food. She talks about food a LOT. I see you, Babs.

Leave the World Behind (movie)

I had problems with this movie but it stayed with me. It’s also fun to see some of our finest actors doing their thing. Pro tip: if you are having anxiety, mayyyybe just add this one to your list and watch it another time.

Saltburn (movie)

I loved Promising Young Woman, so I was really excited to see another film by Emerald Fennell. I thought it was a stylish and entertaining film, with beautiful men, tons of laughs, great acting (can Rosamund Pike ALWAYS play unhinged women?), and a killer soundtrack. I thought the ending dragged a bit, but it was a good time at the movies!

Assorted 90s hip hop (music)

I figured out that good hip hop gives me dopamine. I knew music helped my brain, but hip hop especially makes my brain happy. I am making a playlist I’m calling Dopamine Jamz, and will share it when its done.

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Non-Resolutions

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions anymore, but here is a list of things I would like to do this year:

• Re-learn how to have fun (without relying on alcohol, pot, or food)

• Start a podcast (might do this right here on Substack)

• Write more prose. Maybe some short stories.

• Continue to build healthier habits and heal my mind and body

• Make/see more theater in a way I find sustainable

• Travel somewhere I have never been

• Continue to publish here weekly.

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I hope you all are taking good care of yourselves! January is a rough month (I tend to hibernate and I feel tired all the time), but soon enough, it will be spring.

I have decided to extend my discount on paid subscriptions until January 15th! Please consider a paid subscription if you are able, or you can gift it to a fellow neurodivergent! Very little of my writing is paywalled, but many of my posts involve quite a bit of reading and research. Your support means the world! Also, if you like any of my posts, please share with friends or smash the like button. Shares and likes help build my readership.