it's okay to not say anything

a special post on the value of just not saying words for a second

This is not actually a post about my opinions on Israel/Palestine, because god only knows we have enough of those, and frankly my opinion means precisely jack shit in the face of this everlasting gobstopper of a clusterfuck. A terrible thing happened, and now more terrible things are happening, and instead of taking a collective breath and actually taking it in and processing it, it was an immediate rush to plant a flag of Correctness and Moral Authority. I won’t be quite as strident as Rebecca over on Wonkette, but I join her in saying that my comments section is not a place for your opinions on this particular issue. You have all of Al Gore’s Internet to do that.

I think we have all started to feel - partially because of social media - that our opinions and responses are Super Important. That our opinions need to be solid about literally everything, all the time, the second it happens. This runs the gamut from the finale of a television show to an ongoing geopolitical conflict. And once heels are dug into the ground, you can’t move them, because that makes you look weak and hypocritical. This is, obviously, bad.

As we speak, Gaza is being leveled. Israelis are still counting their dead. I know less about this world than ever. I don’t pretend to either. I don’t profess to have answers. I do not have answers.

I am worried that we are losing our empathy and our humanity. And there is nothing I can do about that, except try to keep mine intact.

My need to prove my politics does not usurp my ability to hold opposing views in tandem. In fact, I no longer feel the need to show proof of my politics or my ethics. If anyone thinks I’m a shitty person because I don’t agree with every single thing I’m expected to agree with, they can sit and spin.

In this particular situation, if you don’t know enough to opine, or simply don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, or just don’t want to deal with bullshit in your feed, it is okay to shut up. I am really learning the value in shutting up. Now that I quit Twitter (I will never call it X, the same way I’ll never call the Triboro Bridge the RFK), I also have fewer avenues for responding immediately. This has been good for me. Not only for my battered psyche, but for my own humanity. It’s easier to stay mad and think you’re right. The harder thing is the cognitive dissonance.

You can have compassion for every innocent person caught up in it. I promise you can.

It is also okay to just sit with it for a second. To think about it. To feel your feelings. To not say anything. Temporary silence does not mean complicity.

The implications are vast. The consequences are going to be terrible. It’s more than we could ever hope to distill into a tweet, a Facebook post, or a meme shared on TikTok.

The person I work for has a friend who is currently feared to be a hostage. I’d urge you to read about her peacemaking work and incredible advocacy.

Things are never as simple as we think.