On Tuesday, I published my essay You Should Have Left the Light On, which is about my painful estrangement from my mother. I was really nervous about it, for obvious reasons. I debated on paywalling it, but I decided to be brave and give the interweb the whole enchilada.
When I woke up early Wednesday morning, I had so many notifications on my phone that I felt a moment of blind panic. Having been on social media for so long, usually that was a bad sign. When I finally got the courage to look at it all, it was mostly because there were so many new subscriptions, shares, and comments on my last post. I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. Well, I sort of do.
The voiceover for You Should Have Left the Light On is up. It took me a long time to finish because I kept crying. I somehow managed to get it done, and while I definitely am still pretty choked up at the end there, I at least made words?
I wasn’t sure I would do a voiceover for this one, but in the end, there was something important to me about telling this story in my own voice, and hearing me say it out loud.
I also rambled into a mic and called it a podcast episode. I think for now the podcast will serve as a sort of companion piece for things I’ve written - things I want to elaborate more on, provide supplemental information for, and whatever else. Please bear with me, as this is my first foray into sound editing, and I still have zero idea what I am doing! I am starting to get the hang of Audacity. Somewhat…
A HUGE Thank You
If you are new here (a lot of you are, as my subscriber base literally doubled in the space of three days), welcome, and I am so grateful and thrilled to have you here. If you have been with me from the beginning, thank you for supporting me over the past many months and for your steadfast readership.
The incredible comments, words of solidarity, shares, likes…I am overwhelmed by it all. I’m sorry so many of you are in the same shitty boat, but I’m also so glad that we found each other out here on Al Gore’s internet.
You all gave me enough dopamine to do life this week. I have been working on a few new features, and this gave me the push I needed to actually execute them. Hooray for brain chemicals!
Subscriber Chat!
I decided to start a chat for my subscribers. The conversation in the comments section was so awesome, and there are so many smart cool people in this circle now. I figured its a place where we can elaborate on topics, catch up, and post pictures of our pets/cute kids. I am not sure how it will pan out, but if its something you’d like to participate in, here’s how to join us:
How to get started
Get the Substack app by clicking this link or the button below. New chat threads won’t be sent sent via email, so turn on push notifications so you don’t miss conversation as it happens. You can also access chat on the web.
Open the app and tap the Chat icon. It looks like two bubbles in the bottom bar, and you’ll see a row for my chat inside.
That’s it! Jump into my thread to say hi, and if you have any issues, check out Substack’s FAQ.
Icky Money Stuff
I did not start this Substack for money, and I don’t paywall the majority of my work because I believe in my mission of fostering community and reducing stigma, as well as making information accessible.
That said - I really do wish Substack would include a few more options as far as payment goes? Some folks don’t necessarily want to buy a year, or even a month, but perhaps there should be an option to unlock a paid post for a couple of bucks?
However, to keep my content accessible (especially for neurodivergents who have a hard time reading longer works), I started doing voice recordings. This required the purchase of audio equipment and it takes a lot of time. This is on top of the resources I purchase to make sure I’m doing careful research. All of this adds up financially, and I believe in paying writers you support! If you are able, please consider a paid subscription.
Until June 1st, I am offering a yearly subscription at 30% off, and a monthly subscription is only $5 a month. To give an option to folks that is low commitment, I started a Buy Me a Coffee. Capitalism is confusing, but it’s the system we’ve got, and I try to work within it as ethically as I can.
What Now?
I started this Substack to talk about ADHD and process my diagnosis. I still plan on talking about ADHD, but I also don’t want to do the thing of not writing about what I want to write about because I feel like I have to stay on topic. My recovery from trauma, my creative life, and my ADHD are all intertwined.
There are so many things I’ve never spoken about publicly. I think what I’m realizing is that there are ways to talk about my personal experiences that don’t require me giving away everything. For instance, I will not publicly discuss intimate details of my marriage (besides basic things). That is not a rule my husband imposed on me - as if he could tell me what to do! - that’s because there are things that I want all for myself.
I hope you all have a great weekend! It’s finally warm-ish here in NYC, and I do plan to get off the internet and go outside.
If there are any posts you’ve read of mine you want me to elaborate on in a podcast, or a related topic you want to explore, let me know in the comments! Thank you all, again, from the bottom of my heart.
Episode One: I Started a Podcast?